I’m sorry you’re here but I am glad you found us. You’re not alone in navigating the cancer care journey. We exist solely to be a support system and community to make this experience a little less painful. In sharing our journey, I want to impart hope and comfort.

An annual vet visit on June 27, 2023 became a turning point in my life. My soul dog Toby, was diagnosed with canine lymphoma. I remember the day after the diagnosis, walking Toby in our neighborhood and being in a brain fog. The shock had turned into fear. What is lymphoma? What are his chances? Is he in pain? I became overwhelmed with an overload of information online and didn’t foresee how my life was going to change forever. 

We were lucky to get an appointment with Dr. Gillings at Summit Veterinary Referral Center the same week. She was thoughtful, direct, and optimistic. A good outcome for Toby was 10-12 months if he underwent chemotherapy. Even though he was almost 10, she had seen senior dogs respond well to treatment. I didn’t blink at the cost. $10,000 minimum. I knew my pet insurance policy would cover 80% and for that, I am very grateful. If I didn’t have pet insurance, I know I would have panicked. I was most nervous about how Toby would handle weekly oncology appointments since he’s usually on anxiety medications for a normal vet appointment. But, no treatment meant a definite decline so our cancer care journey began. 

Our weekly routine started with finding a way to trick Toby into taking his anxiety medication on Thursday night and Friday morning. Drive to Tacoma. Spend 2-4 hours in a private room with Toby, while waiting for his turn to be further drugged to reduce  anxiety and then eventually be taken back for his chemo injection. I brought his bed to keep him comfortable and my laptop to keep working. We would go home in the late afternoon and Toby would sleep while I tried to keep up with work. Sometimes he was interested in food, mostly not. Saturdays were usually slow days. Lots of rest and when side effects like upset stomach were most apparent. By Sunday, his energy level was back and he wanted to go for his daily walks and snuggle with me on the sofa. The rest of the week was spent trying to find foods he wanted to eat. Although he did not lose significant weight during treatment, his appetite was often non-existent. I stressed every day what to feed him. We went through many stages experimenting with foods. Rotisserie chicken, eggs, homemade hamburger, canned dog food, yogurt, broth. How do you prevent side-effects through medication if you can’t get him to eat food with the medication? How do you prepare for Friday’s appointment with the anxiety pills if he won’t eat any food to mask the pills?  It was an ongoing struggle week after week for 6 months. 

I found some solace online with strangers going through the same experience with their fur babies. It was clear everyone felt how I did- we were not ok. The toll of the stress and anxiety of living this routine became overwhelming.  Don’t cry in front of him; don’t put your stress on him. So, I cried in the car, in the bathroom, at night. I felt so much anguish and pain-I didn’t know it had a name: Pre Grief. I’m forever in debt to my therapist for providing me with the tools to build coping mechanisms, a safe space to talk and understanding how to better take care of myself. Self-care comes in many forms: Physical, Emotional, Spiritual. I learned the hard way that I had to balance my caretaker responsibilities with my personal needs so I could have the strength to take care of both of us. I had to constantly remind myself to embrace the days we had and live in the present because the future is unknown.

We are blessed. Toby achieved remission after 2 months of chemo and went on to complete the full course of treatment over 6 months.  He became a little less scared of his amazing oncology team and wagged his tail more often when seeing them. They even managed to wean him off most of his anxiety medicine so his appointments were faster and side effects less. He enjoyed Thanksgiving, Christmas with family, and playing in the snow near Mt Rainier in the new year. 

Over one year after diagnosis, Toby is still in remission and thriving. This journey has revealed strength I didn’t know I had and our resilience in the face of uncertainty. While reflecting on the past year, I realized I had to do something because it was not enough to be grateful and enjoy life while so many others are struggling. I felt compelled to help others find hope after their dog’s diagnosis and find community support so Toby’s Hope went from an idea to reality.

The mission of Toby’s Hope for Canine Cancer Care is to provide financial assistance to those in need (WA State only) for lymphoma treatment and diagnosis, and resources to support owners and their families for managing new responsibilities of being a caretaker. Our focus is to support a dog and its family through the entire cancer journey from initial diagnosis to end of life. We believe that life is better with a dog in it and want to enable families to tackle cancer with a community behind them.

Toby will always be a part of me. His quirks and personality make me smile. His loyalty is unmatched. I’m glad his legacy will always be tied to Toby’s Hope and he will change lives long after he’s gone.